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the yunahon mixtape

by oso oso

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1.
the cool 02:51
“so when you fall down, make sure you get back up” they say and “when i fall in love, i always try to run away” I saw the signs, all the time but never stopped. never read what they say. and when we kiss goodnight, don’t think i ever mean goodbye. cause when YOU speak your mind, you calm down everything inside… “cool. where do you wanna go tonight?” i know were all alone, but i’ve found that shortcut to your ribs and to your neck a thousand times. i guess i wanna know if we can take the long way home tonight. its just around the bend. “the next disaster is always around the bend”
2.
tell me what you want nathan? (you never seem to know when you have it already) tell me what you need annie? (you never seem to know when you have it already) its insane. -and i mean if you want, we can just stay here. wrap me in your claws, i can be your reindeer when they turn out the lights. that way i can write your name here, cause we know what you like you can have it every day here- cause i was wrong and this is my repent. things sped up, i stopped making sense. -i mean if you want. we can just stay here. and i know i need SOMETHING now. i can feel this change coming on inside of me. i know im different now, my ocean’s swelling up inside whenever you’re away its insane…………… oh. no. big. wave. oh no……..big, big wave. -and i mean if you want, we can just stay here. wrap me in your claws, i can be your reindeer when they turn out the lights. that way i can write your name here, cause we know what you like you can have it every day here- cause i was wrong and this is my repent. things sped up, i stopped making sense. -i mean if you want. we can just stay here.
3.
the walk 04:09
what? wait. the freckles in your face. my head in outer space. the devil in our frame. and i couldn’t believe, you were wasting your time with me. i’ll stay mute (cause i never find the words to say.) and just stand still (cause you always find a way to slip away.) i was lost. i was scared. i have always been this way. i have always been afraid. forthcoming yet delayed. “so reassemble and remake.” you and i walked together on the beach, no shoes on our feet, and you said the sand underneath is like the people we might meet. and “every single grain will some day be washed away.” and i should’ve felt lucky just to have washed up on your beach. but i said “if im sand, what the oceans? the wind? and erosion? the lightning and the rain? and how come we feel pain?” and i’ve realized i was so wrong once again. just misinterpreting everything you said…..
4.
cradled in the claw, felt safe. but the grasp turned into a squeeze slowly. and now the nails pressed on my throat, slipped to getaway. left a scar in the worst place. and you’d say “this chill, but its temporary, like a childhood or nice scenery….but..with seasons, the scenery changes” “it’s okay. don’t explain it, mariah” and you’d say “dont it sting in the most subtle way? like a scraped knee? or love you cant save. give it time and just watch it all fade.” “just please dont explain it, mariah”
5.
i said “i cant wait for the wind, if we cant sail, well i can swim.” watch me kick and flail these limbs just to get there (when you’re there). and for the lights i cant wait, a need to know that you are safe. i’ll do anything it takes just to get there (when you’re there) just to get there (when you’re there) i cant wait. driving through the desert im awake till i get i there, cause youre the wish in all my prayers. youre the wish in all my prayers. i said “i cant wait for the wind, if we cant sail, well i can swim.” watch me kick and flail these limbs just to get there (when you’re there). and for the lights i cant wait, a need to know that you are safe. i’ll do anything it takes just to get there (when you’re there). just to get there (when you’re there). and we can share off the plate. wait till it reaches our brains. however many hits it takes to get there. just to get there (when you’re there).
6.
i’ll take you to the back, emergency. let out all the secrets you can’t keep. “its like i don’t know what it means to be one, inside this shell of me” and they say it comes on slow, but thats alright, cause those teeth gotta grow before they learn how to bite. and the movies they show, don’t show wrong from right!!!! and we can argue that all night (yup. mhmm) cause i will, when they wont, just to let em know i float in your wave and ill get sucked up for days, dont know where i could end up…. cause i couldn’t see where i was supposed to be, its like the water reached my neck and foresaw the rest terribly: i am a grain of sand forever trapped inside your current; aimless and meaningless like those tiny things i dissect. i learned to talk to the dead and said “something went wrong down here!” you’ll get spit out and it kills, but you’ll learn there’s nothing to fear. and you’ve got great, big beaches, from an even bigger ocean. and i’ll complete them, till i learn how to swim.
7.
you and i both staying up late, testing out the new solutions to keep your nightmares at bay. and i love how when you say my name it hurts, in the worst way. im poking fun at the coffee stains on your tie dye shirt, and im always just a beat or two behind when you say “when we sing our song the words never need to rhyme”. but then it rains. you disappear from all our friends but i know the rules, start looking after i count to ten. and i find you in the most peculiar place, inspecting the sky cause in some clouds you see a face. and sometimes its just you and i, getting high in your car. but when im high with you, im high enough to touch the stars. yea when im high with you, im high enough to touch the stars. and when we sing our song the words never need to rhyme. and you and i we talk until its far too late to drive…….. and the shoes on our feet: kicked em off, kicked em up. it felt cool.
8.
the slope 02:37
you and i connect, when you and i first meet. i take you by the hand, and then we climb up to the peak. when we get to the peak, you and i disrobe, it dissipates the glow and now we’re heading for the slope. i head in to the settings, shutting off the read receipts then i text back on the ride home “sorry, fell asleep”. try to keep you off the know, but you read me like a book then mariah blindfolds me and she tells me i cant look. and i dont say a word. i just obey. (we are so susceptible. ideals are malleable.) feel a heart touch your hand through a ribcage. (and once we head this slope, all we can do is roll) and i know, what i think you know, its just a matter of time till i meet a choice im faced with time after time: to love or to hide…..i’d bet i head for the slope i bet i head for the slope.
9.
feeling comes and goes, slips away like a fleeting ghost. i need to know where to find it when i need it most. i was always climbing up the wrong trees, got comfy in the shade and lost part of me. then you give me the trope of “the rope”, such a silly thing: “were tied together at different of the same string” and there’s and effect to what i do, it pulls on one end and drags you too…. and i never wanted it to be this way, when we spoke in code almost every day. and you say now “its like words are the only way” since my head got caught up in outer space. its funny how the things we one day could praise, tomorrow be the force that pushes away. i couldnt find the words i could use to save, a silence you couldnt find a way to break. so we let it be, so quietly, cause i know that there’s a war to fight inside your head when you disengage. i know that there’s a storm to calm. .......and ready or not. im alone, in the secret spot. you said “all i thought i saw was golden hue…..i dont know why i thought you were golden too” when the wall are caving, ceilings coming down and it gets tough. know i love you. i know i dont tell you that enough. but i’ll never tell why, keep those wool covered eyes. oh you’ll hate it once you’ve had enough. and i hate it too but im stuck here till they swoop me up, up, up. yea i hate it too but im stuck here till they swoop me up.
10.
fret through the snow. i wanna know how to beat this, and you’re the only one i know who can let me in on the secret. under the pretense, that i can’t afford to see you only weekends when we both see the bend, but we can play pretend, pretend, pretend… and i was right up front. i watched it all go down. those invisible things you were figuring out. and you put on a front, just laughing on about, some classic joke i told about your favorite noun. you said im always looking for disaster, but i “know just where to look” and im shook, im shook, im shook… cause you were the one i was waiting for, you were the one i was longing for… and i was right up front. i watched it all go down. those invisible things you were figuring out. and you put on a front, just laughing on about, that classic joke i told about your favorite noun. and i will die alone, and that’ll be just fine. but every time we make love she turns off the lights, thought i had discovered something to curb the pain, but every time i detour it all ends the same.
11.
sorry that was out of the blue, all those thing that i had told you. i dont blame you if your feeling confused, i would too, i would too. learning how untie that noose, properly groove by groove. on your lips i taste the regret, as we lay there in a cold sweat. and the floor tiles they feel just like, all the thoughts that i thought i’d find. the actions and reflex, the moments in context. what we did to please them, the reasons, the reasons…. and hayley she got caught in a mess, shes got the next 5 weeks planned out paycheck to paycheck, saving for the great exodus, and then it will all make sense, we’ll make sense of this mess, and i just think its unfair, the way you like to say that i dont care or im not there when im still here, and every time we fight how it goes there. and i just want you to know/ that when you left i really wanted to follow. i know i lied. i know what i said. i dont know why. we’re never coming back to this place, (take you all can! take all you can carry!) but i just cant leave you this way, were too young, its too entrapping to stay, (i’ll take all your hurt! i’ll take all your hurt and carry it with me!) i think youll understand some day, but for now you just say i keep “swimming away from your love”. and the facts do prevail: yes i do make it tough and i keep “swimming away from your love”. and i know that is nothing that youve never heard, but i fucked up the process when i said those words. think its too late, then i hear your voice through the phone, say “aint it nice to fuck up, and not be in it alone?” yea, aint it nice to fuck up, and not be in it alone?aint it nice to fuck up and not be in it alone?

about

~for Carol and for George

credits

released January 13, 2017

"the yunahon mixtape" was recorded in the November-December 2016 in Port Jefferson, NY

Engineered, Mixed, Produced by Billy Mannino at Vudu Studios

Mastered by Mike Kalajian at Rogue Planet Mastering

Drums/Percussion - Aaron Masih

Artwork - Matt Lamourt


this album could not have been made without the following people:

Mark, Billy, Aaron, Wims, Tavish, Cabello, Donna, Richard, Matt, Corbin, Tom, Tayler, Nevo, Katie, Gabby, Bri, Kory, Zakariya, Alex, Cambo, Christian, Chris, Sam, Ian, Ian, Ian, Ian, Jacob, Charlie, Scott, Jim, Jonathan, Kless and the Crew(baby), Anderson, Daniel, Ana, Sam, Pj, Heather, Gill, Zach, Craig, Tom & anybody else involved in Dong Island or the Perpetual Hope house, i have such an appreciation for what you have given me and countless kids in the area and if i missed anybody im sorry!

and of course anybody who has supported this project in anyway, shape or form, bought merch, booked us a show, let us sleep on your floor and couches, thank you. i REALLY mean it. thank you for singing along.

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oso oso Long Beach, New York

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